Young Debater Gifts

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"You're definitely descended from the apes. I'm descended from Adam and Eve."

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

'I'm Timmy Jones of the 'Young Republicans'. I'm collecting to run for president in 2028, and my goal is to be another Ronald Regan!'

Cut the small talk-I'm almost seven.

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"You can't kick me there! According to my Gray's Anatomy I don't have anything called a 'keister'!"

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"The Supreme Court refused to hear my case, so I'll get off my phone and clean my room like you asked."

Dialogue

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Difference of Opinion

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Changing Minds

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Like Minded

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Is there a God? God knows...'

Global warming debate.

The last word.

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

Approved Debate Questions