Young At Heart Seeker T-Shirts

"That's precisely the problem. You're acting your age!"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"I'm not old enough to drive yet, but mom says this is good practice."

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"When Rapunzel let down her hair, did she look ten years younger."

Active pensioner.

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

"My inner child just turned sixty-five."

"Spring Chicken"

"I used to be old, too, but it wasn't my cup of tea."

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

"You're going to require a hip hop replacement."

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

'He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...hey, this flower is missing a petal!'

'The position calls for a mature person with young ideas.'

"Sorry Sir, no hoodies."

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

Lots of people would consider me young...if they were alive today.

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

Three-Quarters Life Crisis

'Dad, what were you like when you weren't a kid?'

He Loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... Hey, this flower is missing a petal!

"Hey I know, let's play bored kids hanging around after school."

"Let's look for spots and then talk about what we would've done on 'em 10 years ago."

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."