Yolk Philosopher Pillows

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Poor man and rich man

"What should I say this is about?"

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

"Who's God?"

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

Business men talking, "Out here a guy could be lulled into thinking that there is more to life than just the power or money"

'I've noticed that it's only since I started laying golden eggs that everybody wants to be my friend...'

G7

'What's your take on this new farm program legislation? -- I've never been on a farm.'

'I've never slept with a cartoonist before; will it be funny?'

"When I lost my sense of humor, I lost my sense of compassion, which is how I got where I am today."

"As vegan zombies, are we allowed to eat brains?"

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

'Locusts?'

'Well yes, I suppose it is a multiple-choice question'

"There's a lesson here, son. Being rich doesn't stop it from raining,"

'I can't wait to be shorn of all this wooly symbolism.'

'I asked myself, is what I've got enough? Is the big house, the cars, the expensive clothes really enough. Isn't their more to life?'