Yogurt Humorists Pillows

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

Lesser known greek gods,

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Cat eats date.

Conference Pears

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

The Return of the Germ

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

'The stuff legends are made of'

"Avoid sitting."

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

Orange House of Horrors

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

The mushroom pickers

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

Dachshund Yoga

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

Corporate urban legends

'Yoga? Tell me more.'

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

That was 16 items.