Yoga Joker Pillows

'I want you to touch your toes ten times a day.'

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Joust Sharpener

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Jogging Bottoms

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Ecotourism.

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Eucharist

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Ants stealing from the picnic.

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

False encouragement.

"Avoid sitting."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'