Yoga Gifts

Snowperson Yoga

"Oh, gosh! Yoga in twenty minutes."

"Of course, this neck stretch should be attempted only by advanced students."

"Mom?"

"Boy, I'm going to pay for this tomorrow at yoga class."

"No way! It's definitely your turn to 'be one' with the dishes."

Yale,Yale,Yale,Yale,Kale

Warming up

"Frankly, counselor, I don't care how stressful this is for your client—tell him to get out of that damn yoga position."

'When I asked if you were flexible, Mrs. Harkness, I was asking about your hours!'

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

Yoga feasibility studies.

Pretzel Co: 'Tell me...why should we hire you?'

"With everything else I've got on my mind, now you're telling me I have to think about breathing?"

With everything else I've got on my mind, now you're telling me I have to think about breathing?"

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

Yoga class intrays - in/out/relax.

All we have in life is this moment...

Zen And The Art Of Bankruptcy

'Pilates. Yoga. Maybe a new strain of tai chi. Whatever! We've got to end it before the entire herd is infected.'

Most people meditate to seek inner peace, not revenge.

'You need to go home, take a long relaxing bath surrounded by aromatic candles and do an hour of yoga; but that's out of the question. How about a five minute smoking break ?'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

Yoga for beginners,

"...He's in a meeting with himself."

"It's amazing. I hear some of them can endure the same boring, pointless positions for years on end!"

'Let's skip the anesthetic. I study yoga so I think I can transcend-dental-medication.'

Anti-stress Class

"Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions instead of jumping to them"

Burned out doctor has a 'break glass in case of burnout' kit in her office.

"And may all your chakras be blocked!"

"I have reached the higher plane of consciousness and enlightenment."

Yoga - moooooooo.