Yiddish Humor Fan Pillows

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Trump Poutine

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'More government surveillance!'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

The Thinker?

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

How men process questions.

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'