Yiddish Humor Fan Pillows

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

'More government surveillance!'

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

How men process questions.

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

"That's right. An increase in your title!"