Judaism Humor Fan Pillows

Reb Berel had always been proud of his beard...until Reb Feivel arrived.

Torah-nosaurus Rex

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Dogma

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'More government surveillance!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'