Yes-man Whisperer Pillows

'You're right, Mr. Benson, no question about it...I agree...yes! Absolutely! Yes...yes...'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

Children's education

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

Quiz Night...

Man and Machine snoozing

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

'You're very tense today.'

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"How's tricks?"

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

Gym. I'm not sweating --- My muscles are crying!

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

"Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with either two squares forward and one to the side, or two squares to the side and one forward."

"What setting do I use for this?"

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

'So, I see you're a good listener.'

"Your sermon had everyone at rapt attention. Good move cutting the church WiFi."

Dr. McWit ponders the Big Bag theory for Creation of the Universe.

'She used a scroggy piraya to flench her jargonel.'

Nature rebels against the machine

He's more into the spoken word stuff.

"I've never written anything, but I think I have a good ear for dialogue."