Yen Yogi Pillows

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

My God, I need to fart.

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

"Remember, ladies, if you are doing this right you shouldn't be able to do it."

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

Banana Yoga

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

"Take. Your. Time!"

"You must now empty the Kitty Litter of your mind."

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

Transcendental Litigation

Tangled facing dog...

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

Fitness Guru

"Thank you."

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'Phew! What a day! I almost lost my aura of supreme tranquility.'

"Wait, I signed up for the traditional yoga class."

Dachshund Yoga

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'