Yard Sale Enthusiast Gifts

The garage sale had gone even better than they had expected. 'Both our kids are gone.' '...And we made an extra twenty bucks.'

"There's more inside."

Worn Gentility Sale

'You said I had to sell it, you didn't say I couldn't buy it.'

'How much do you want for this weapons-grade plutonium?'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

'None of this stuff is yours.'

'After the yard sale and then the garage sale, it was the next logical step.'

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

'For Sale Used Only Once.'

'You wanted this vase? Don't worry, I'll be having a yard sale tomorrow and you can buy it.'

Garbage sale.

'Indiana, you old fool - that's not a valuable artifact and we're not in an ancient temple. We're at a garage sale and that's a tacky knickknack.'

'Did you tell the kids they could have a yard sale.'

"No, it's not a foreclosure. It's my 'Going out of business sale!' Everything must go!"

"The good thing about Donald Trump as president is all the moving sales from people moving to Canada!"

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'Pssst, Bill... the sale's going great, but we're getting low on stuff. Make another run to the landfill and bring back whatever you can get your hands on.'

"Anything catching your eye? Maybe one of my tia's antique perfume bottles? Or this rare cheese grater owned by one of Ricky Martin's entourage? Always a snappy icebreaker."

"Baldo, do you remember Mrs. Herrera? And Mrs. Marquez from church? And this is her niece, Estella."

"Do you think we should lower the price?"

Yard Sale

"Better make him an offer he can't refuse."

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"Think of this as an investment. It will sell for twice the price at your next yard sale."

"And finally: I'm having a garage sale Saturday. I expect you all to be there."

"If it starts working, bring it back and I'll give you a refund."

Mail-Order Yard Sale

Divorce Sale

"It works fine - we are just no longer a nuclear family."

Sidewalk Freebies

For sale: baby shoes. Worn once. HUGE mistake

Yard sale.

I bought this at a yard sale for 25 cents. Let's just say it has not been a chick magnet. #1 Granddad. ? ? Bus.