Yard Renegades Pillows

"Declared Victory Garden"

"Beware of God"

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

"Fred's a man for all seasons. The lawn still needs mowing but he's set for leaf blowing."

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

"I faked your New Year's resolution."

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

"Whenever they low, I get high."

Bruce and Shirley go about their daily routine, totally unaware of the vicious circle that lurks in the darkness.

"A double wedding was a good idea. Hope that your husband and my wife don't miss us!"

Supermarket checkout sigs read: 'Eight items or less; Cash only; I'll think of something.'

"What? You know know I hate to be called a quitter."

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

Tenants and Landlords - 'Ah, he's given me notice, but I'm taking his wall-paper with me! ...'

"Do you realize that that was the first time neither of us was married?"

'There's a warning label on the handle.'

"Never mind your leader. Take us to your landfill!"

'I just wanna looker for the occasional wife swap party.'