Xmas Spirit Seeker Pillows

'You're out of key, and you've totally picked the wrong number for your vocal range. Face it, you'll never make it as carol singers'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Unguided imagery

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

Ice Skater

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Snowman

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Santa CGI Effect

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

Just one more choccy...

Farmer Christmas.

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Marley's Ghost

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

Merry Kissmas

"Your husband says BOO!"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."