Xmas Spirit Seeker Pillows

'You're out of key, and you've totally picked the wrong number for your vocal range. Face it, you'll never make it as carol singers'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Unguided imagery

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Fleas Navidad.

'You can't come in here with that.'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Ice Skater

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

Snowman

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Santa CGI Effect

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

Just one more choccy...

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

Farmer Christmas.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"Your husband says BOO!"

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

Marley's Ghost

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Merry Kissmas

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.