Spirit Seeker Pillows

Center for the study of Astral Projection: Enter before knocking.

"One knock for yes, two knocks to leave a message, three knocks to speak to an advisor..."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

"It appears to be a group message from the other side. Do you want to Reply All?"

'Then again it could just be a break in the clouds !'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

Thank you for calling the after-life...

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

Lost Property - Missing Head

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

Spirits in the bottles

'I don't mind the haunting. I mind the droppings.'

"Right about here. This is when HR abandoned its hiring process in favor of consulting the Ouija board."

"Is everything ok? You've hardly said 'Boo' all evening."

Home Wine-Making Kit...

"Your husband says BOO!"

Balloon Angel

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Enlightenment? Three mountains down. I'm the fitness guru.'

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

''Is there anybody there?'

'I felt the glass move!'

Bar offers seances to 'get in touch with spirits'.

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'Oh, come on. We just need one more body. Please die.'

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Is there anybody there yet?"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'When I told him we had no wine, he just kept going.'

'That's what happens when the wife buys a cheap coffin.'