Spiritual Seekers Pillows

"The meaning of life is cats."

"It's amazing. I hear some of them can endure the same boring, pointless positions for years on end!"

His prayers were finally answered ? with a question.

"I can see from your Machzor annotations that you've really connected with the Ideas of Yom Kippur."

"Enough about God. Let's talk about something you really know: rejection."

Prayers For Agnostics

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

Prophets are up.

'...if you think about it, we must have done something pretty bad in a past life.'

'You know, he's got a point -- if we're so smart, why ain't we rich?'

Celestial reading lamp.

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

"You're on mute."

"I don't want to let being dead define me."

"Are you sure that was Buddha? -- It sounds more like something Vladimir Putin would say."

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'And the great thing is that I don't have to be approved by your HMO.'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'I'm new here-where are all the nuns?'

'The way I see it ... if the meek do inherit the earth, they're still going to need us.'

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Existing for eternity - a fate worse than death

"But if You create them in Your image, how will they tell each other apart?"

Notice In Heaven - THINK POSTHUMOUSLY

"Granted, actual music is a no-no, but where do we stand on air guitar?"

"Don't forget to pay the cashier on your way down."

Spec Church

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"We're thinking maybe it's time you started getting some religious instruction. There's Catholic, Protestant, and Jewish---any of those sound good to you?"

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

"Not the God I expected."

Choices, Reform, Conservative, Orthodox

"Grab a paddle."