Spiritual Wisdom Seekers Pillows

"Winners don't leave Yelp reviews."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"Feel free to take notes."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Oh, crap.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"All we have left is standing room only."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zenemies.

"Needs to get a life"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"