Spiritual Wisdom Seeker Pillows

"The Lord moves in mysterious ways."

'Oh, I'm not a guru - I'm just up here to hide from the zombie apocalypse.'

"That's not a mantra! That's a CATCHPHRASE!"

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Feel free to take notes."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Needs to get a life"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"All we have left is standing room only."

Zenemies.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"