Writing Vows Pillows

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

I love you.

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

Wedding selfie stick

Gates of heaven

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

Old Love

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

Woman: 'I, Linda...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.' / Man:'And I, Shaun...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.'

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

'... and do you promise to love Angela, more than she loves you?'

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

'My parents are renewing their wedding vows. . . my mom just notices that my dad had penciled in an expiration date on the marriage license.'

'... And do you, Gavin, promise not to hog the T.V remote, for as long as you both shall live?'