Writing Rebel Pillows

'Did you remove all the cliches and slang from your term paper?', 'Like, totally, dude!'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"I gotta be me!"

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

I did it my way.

Letters escape from a caged book.

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

Lockdown casserole

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with something missing.

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

'But Father, I don't want to study space time temporal theories in relation to collapsing pulsars, I want to do my own thing!'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'