Would-be Hollywood Celebrity Mugs

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Hollywood or bust!

Tom Cruise

Welcome to Hollywood

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

Live the Dream!

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"I'm not sure I'd want fifteen minutes of fame. Mum would only follow it with fifteen minutes of criticism."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'