Worldly Water Tasters T-Shirts

'Would you like you water from the Indian or the Chinese side of the Himalayas?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

Wine taster with mineral water

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

Wino Appreciation Group

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'Straight on, you can't miss it.'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"I can remember when water was just wet."

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

'The statue of David? I thought you said Mogen David.'

"I'm getting a lot of burnt notes."

'It looks like blood, tastes like Ribena, I just hope it gets me drunk,'

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

'Steroids.'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'Frank, it's water.'

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

IRS, 'Yes, but in order to deduct it, you have to be a LICENSED wine-taster.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Ironically, before I fell on hard times, I was a professional wine taster.'

'Notice the quintessential taste of Tuscany in this impressive little vintner we picked up on our last trip to Italy.'

'How about I leave the last splinter in? It'll be a good reminder to not take things literally, at your next barrel tasting.'

'I'd like to sample your house wine...Hmm, do you have something that stains a little better?'