World Record Dreamer Pillows

"Ukrainian legend V.N. Levev performs a flawless clean and jerk of Amy Lucas, world's most self-absorbed waitress."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

This was to have been Hillary's greatest moment,,,

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

Math Dreams

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

Olympic Climate

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

'I'm a star!'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."

Honorable mention in science: the Nobel surprise.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Mount Everest.

Wake us up when the Olympics are over...

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

We are here!

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Our band is called 'Paper'. We'll be covering some rock for you this evening."

If you think you have caught a record fish...make sure you have a witness...

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

A medal podium with places for first, second and third is contrasted with a spot at the bar for fourth place.

"Gus... you'll have to learn another chord."

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."