World Cup Widow Pillows

"It's the only way I can get him to look at me when the World Cup is on."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

Cricket widow's revenge 2

A woman watches football on her computer.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

"Apparently the will was typed up wrong and UCLA got all your husband's money...and you get his brain!"

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

The Rugby Throw Up.

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

Football Planet

Red Card - Gold Card.

"I'm afraid Larry sleeps with more than just the fishes."

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

"He's in training for the World Cup."

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"