World Conquerors Gifts

Isn't 'To rule the world' a little too grand in scale?

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Deadline

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

Minister Starts at a New Church

'This is no time to start wondering whether you turned off the oven!

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'Time manager'

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

"If you want to do well in your interview, my advice is not to be intimidated."

'I'm waiting for the Government to build an elevator!'

Old man with a zimmer frame grittier

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

'Did I get this right? You fear that there's a hedge fund manager in your cupboard ready to take over your company at the first opportunity?'

'When we take over a company, we take the lot.'

"Call the pest control people! This is getting out of hand!"

"On the plus side we're going to put your head in formaldehyde and auction it for charity."

'Diane removes her love beads before resuming takeover negotiations'

'I tried to meet the sales goal but alas! It fought like a mule and it bit like a crocodile!'

'How to beat a computer.'

Supermarket checkout sigs read: 'Eight items or less; Cash only; I'll think of something.'

Grief from above.

'For some reason, hiking up here reminds me of my underperforming portfolio!'

"More like catch, take humiliating photo, and release."