Workshop Leader Pillows

'Welcome to the magic and the mystery that is Henry's powerpoint presentation.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"We only got six days of funding."

Claus 2.0

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"Lovely dovetail."

Belief and Trust.

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'

Brainstorm in progress.

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

Waiting for retirement.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Targets.

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

How to engage an audience

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"Is this where the breakout session on adolescent behavior meets?"

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."