Workshop Avoider Pillows

"Are you going to this seminar?"

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Claus 2.0

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

Belief and Trust.

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

The Procrastinatorium.

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

Man with what appears to be cheese on head to other man: 'No, it's actually a sponge. I'm excited about today's motivational seminar and I want to soak it in.'

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'