Workshop Attendee Gifts

'Remember, we become what we think of most.' - 'Oh no, I'm turning into a woman.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Claus 2.0

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

Belief and Trust.

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'

Brainstorm in progress.

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

How to engage an audience

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"Is this where the breakout session on adolescent behavior meets?"

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

'Pick a business card.'

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"