Workplace Wellness Warriors Pillows

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'Why do you keep this job? It's killing you.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

Burnout Syndrome...

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.