Workplace Wellness Warrior Pillows

Your performance evaulations and sales figures are exceptional, but the company's a little bit concerned by your cholesterol numbers.

"I don't get all the hype about treadmill desks."

'If only someone had listened when Harry complained about the flourescent lighting!'

Reduce stress-related injuries and turbo-charge your career with these easy workstation exercises!

Welcome to Stress-Co., Incorporated!

'Notice how much happier everyone is since I added anti-anxiety meds to our bottled water?'

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

"On the one hand your flexibility is good for the company. On the other hand the chiropractors' bills are not."

"The company offers free Yoga and aerobics. You'll bend over backwards and jump through hoops."

The Executive Manual of Exercise

'People aren't happy enough...I want a 15% increase in happiness by the 1st of the month or heads will roll!'

'He stated jogging to work.'

'The company offers paid sick days and dental. No one ever mentioned unconditional love.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

'Well, well, well...'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."