Workplace Safety Week Gifts

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Today's safety topic is HELICOPTER SAFETY!'

"Don't worry. The building is earthquake proof, but unfortunately we haven't solved the

Acme Clocks.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"We need a union!'

Time Out For Teddy

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Labor Day '19

Wear a helmet

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

No Smoking.

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

Speeding Forklift

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

First Aid Box

Days without an incident.

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"I was running through the hallways and forgot to watch out for the low-hanging fruit."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."