Workplace Relationship Pillows

Corporate Romance

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

InIn by-products.

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."