Workplace Mischief Enthusiast Pillows

'I don't want to hear your problems, Hawkins---take your troubles five doors down, to our for-crying-out-loud! department'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

Office Competitions

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

Sleeping at the computer.

That's a great suggestion, Harris, unfortunately I'm not open to suggestions right now.

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

Out and In.

'Very good job! I would like to show my appreciation in a practical way...Hip,hip hooray!'

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

'The doctor is ready to see you, Teddy...Bring your handler!'

Fun at the Office # 729: MEMO FANATICS IN THE HALL

"It's face painting Friday."

"Phelps, I hope I'm not insulting you when I say you're an incompetent nincompoop."

'Clear your desk. You're fired!'

"This is the software for my head."

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

'Better call me Sir in the office dear - I don't want the staff to know that I send my wife out to work...'

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.

"'Work' is a magic word around here."

'What have I told you about gambolling at work, Lambton?'