Workplace Leader Gifts

'I do the work of three men for one man's salary!' 'Show me the other two and I'll fire them immediately!'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Butterfly Woman

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Women Supporting Women!"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

37 years in the same position.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Leadership suits you

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"What was I thinking?!"

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"