Workplace Interaction Pillows

'Any other messages, Ms. Richards?'

'Can I interest you in a lunch blitz?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Glance Exchange

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

InIn by-products.

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."