Workplace Culture Observers Pillows

Signing your opinions was the type of fearless, bold and honest act that would destroy this company. You're fired.

"Staff support"

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'I give this one about three months...'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

"They grow up so fast."

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

'All applicants for employment must first submit to a company physical - We use it to eliminate anyone with a backbone.'

-Great little number cruncher! -But lousy table manners.

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'Have you decided who's going to be team leader?'

'Mr. Donovan, is it all right if I tie my shoelace?'

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'Don't try to use me. I'm not user friendly!'

''Benefit of the doubt' was our only benefit and now, the company has sent it offshore.'

'You're not the manager I expected.' - 'So blame yourself for having lousy judgement.'

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

"We added it just for the millenials."