Workplace Culture Explorers Gifts

"It's a new year, a NEW start!. . . We must put aside our sexist misogynistic past. . ."

"Staff support"

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'I give this one about three months...'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Nice power tie, J.B.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

-Great little number cruncher! -But lousy table manners.

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"You're just buying time, Peterson! I want those figures on my desk by tomorrow!"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"It was just a little setback - but the boss had away of making seem much larger."

'And my board approved this?'

'Oh, that's a deduction to pay for management perks.'

"It's called a treadmill workstation, not a stationary rat race."

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

Employer of the month...and every month.

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

"Remember to look miserable when you meet the workforce son. We've spent years convincing them that money can't buy happiness."

He was the kind of boss who evoked extreme emotions.

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

'In line with our offering choices around here, would you prefer to be downsized or outsourced?'

'We don't need an R & D department anymore; we've got something better - Steve Jobs' garbage pail.'

'Does that mean you found a new job, Hirshenson?'

Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?