Workout Hider Pillows

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"I'd just like to congratulate you on how skillfully you've hidden my novel!"

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

In Disguise.

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

New years resolutions

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

"20% of medical opinion may change every five years...but it won't be the 20% that says smoking 20 a day and being 5 stone overweight is bad for you!"

'I know you're at home, Oog -- I can see your feet!'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

'You need to go on a diet. Your spare tyres are getting spare tyres!'

"They want us to work an extra two hours, so I'm either going to sneak out my office window or hide in the bathroom."

Yoga Welcome Mat

"Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say your body is a temple, more of an amusement arcade."

Man to lady regarding 'Resistance Exercises' book: 'No thanks. I've been an expert on resisting to exercise for 20 years.'

"You know, anyone who wishes he had a remote control for his exercise equipment is missing the idea of exercise equipment."

"Yes... I'd like to cancel my membership to the company fitness program immediately."

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'You carry on to those machines. I'll stay here with this one.'