Working Part-time Pillows

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'This new 'flexible working' scheme is a great idea. . . It helps us to identify staff who have a more balanced life. People who have interests outside of the office.'

'Publisher recommends a good paper shredder.'

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"If I were writing fulltime, I'd have three unpublished novels by now."

Custom Cruiser Magazine Reader Survey: Do you own a lowrider?"

"They always give us minimum-wage, part-time guys the riskiest jobs."

"If you're part time here, what do you do the rest of the time?"

"Ruddy gig economy."

When applying for a part-time job in retail, try not to state the obvious.

I was considered a part time employee since I only worked one night a year and thus wasn't eligible for the pension plan, so here I am in my golden years.

"This idea of offering staff flexible working options is genius, we should have done it years ago!"

'These part-time, no-benefits, temporary employees have the uncanny ability to disappear at will.'

"Actually, I'm just in town to waste eight hours a day, five days a week for thirty years, then I'm leaving. How about you?''

"What's a good board for someone who gets out in the water once a year but talks about surfing incessantly?"

'I thought we agreed,one would do mornings and one the afternoons!'

Labour Force Survey Shows Increase in Part Time Working.

Part-time workers

'I only make $8 an hour, but fortunately, since they cut my hours, the job doesn't take up much of my time.'

Wally earns big buck stuffing envelopes at home!

"As a no-benefits, temporary, part time employee, we've given you the freedom to be your creative best!

Part-time workers.

"You the fellow who ordered computer parts in bulk?"

"Yes, I've lost weight. I don't have time to eat because I have to work three jobs to buy food."

"Juggling our schedules with me in school and you working full-time is just too difficult."

'Let's get one thing straight...I'm your employer, not your 'flexible friend'!'

"Just for a while dear, we must part."

I got a call from my agent so I have to step out for an audition. I'll be back before you are ready for dessert.

Paperboy wanted! Short round.