Working On Cars T-Shirts

Mechanic to man: 'Let's just say that it needs a battery with citric acid.'

"Take me to your mechanic."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Turmoil change.

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

A souped up car...

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Animals are smarter than we think!

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

"If this car is so smart, why didn't it let me know there was a cop there?"

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"Turn down the bass."

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

'I understand you work on foreign models?'

'Awesome!'

'Frankly the only Cheap way of getting rid of the knocking from the engine is to turn up the volume on the radio.'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"Maybe the alignment's off. It's been acting a little buggy."

Female parking space