Working On Cars Pillows

Mechanic to man: 'Let's just say that it needs a battery with citric acid.'

"Take me to your mechanic."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Turmoil change.

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Animals are smarter than we think!

A souped up car...

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

"Turn down the bass."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"If this car is so smart, why didn't it let me know there was a cop there?"

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

'Awesome!'

'I understand you work on foreign models?'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

"Maybe the alignment's off. It's been acting a little buggy."

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

'Frankly the only Cheap way of getting rid of the knocking from the engine is to turn up the volume on the radio.'

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

"Well, there's your problem. The strange clanking sound is just Tom Waits in your engine."