Work-life Coach Gifts

Death: I don't have to worry about work/life balance.

'I was married to my job, until I recognized it as a co-dependent relationship.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Work/Life Balance

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Surfing the daily stress

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Self-esteem room

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

Meditation