Work Environment Analyst T-Shirts

'He's really keen, highly motivated. Unfortunately he doesn't know how to do anything.'

'We've got a high staff fluctuation, that's why it's not worth furnishing the offices.'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

HR - Helping Relationships

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

The suggestion box.

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

"I'm a bit concerned the staff don't respect me, they've given me a nickname."

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

You are here.

Working Environment

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"It's late. I am not getting into another heated discussion with you."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

Suggestion box, one for suggestions and one for 'clean' suggestions.

"Oxygen masks. When a meeting gets so boring as to be life-threatening, they automatically drop down!"

'This new role will involve some extra responsibilities...of course you'll appreciate that there won't be any extra funding...it's a role for which you are uniquely qualified!'

Not a Work Place, a Wow Place.

"A little office... no windows... with a door... heavenly!"

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'