Wordplay Gifts

"Never, ever, think outside the box."

"Slicey, Trappy, Bogey, Toppy, Mulligan, Hooky, Threeputty

The Sun Comes Out

"I understand you're some fancy pants lawyer."

"Now that the holidays are over we'd like you to get back to crunching numbers."

"Take your time."

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?" "This just in" "1. Nobody - 2. A schmuck - 3. Maybe tomorrow."

Annual Pedants Conference.

'Whenever I complained that my feet were killing me, nobody believed me.'

"My contractor told me Rome would only take a day."

"Do you mind if I interrupt your train of thought with my stream of consciousness?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"No, it's not a typo."

Caution: Fork in road ahead.

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"It's just a fact of life that sometimes bad things happen to good cigars."

"Yeah, I've been in rehub."

Various Birds of Pray.

'Look daddy,look! I'm exactly 3 feet tall!' (a child foot getting measured for height).

'Is it peasants or pheasants you're not allowed to pick up if you hit them?'

'Oh, no! A love rat!'

Sockeye Salmon.

Kamakazi Flies

'May contain Cnuts.'

"We saved your life. However, your colon is now a semicolon"

"One no-trump. Oh, please, God, no Trump."

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

"Oh honey, I'm homo!"

'Want to serve first?'

'My mother was a real bitch!'

Mine Host.

"Honey, is Ambergene the name of my cousin's daughter or my sleep medication?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"