Wordplay Gifts

"Never, ever, think outside the box."

"Slicey, Trappy, Bogey, Toppy, Mulligan, Hooky, Threeputty

The Sun Comes Out

'Whenever I walk in a room,everyone ignores me.'

"I understand you're some fancy pants lawyer."

"Now that the holidays are over we'd like you to get back to crunching numbers."

"Take your time."

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?" "This just in" "1. Nobody - 2. A schmuck - 3. Maybe tomorrow."

'Whenever I complained that my feet were killing me, nobody believed me.'

Annual Pedants Conference.

Corn and Bunion plants.

"My contractor told me Rome would only take a day."

"Do you mind if I interrupt your train of thought with my stream of consciousness?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"No, it's not a typo."

Caution: Fork in road ahead.

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

"Yeah, I've been in rehub."

"It's just a fact of life that sometimes bad things happen to good cigars."

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Kamakazi Flies

'Look daddy,look! I'm exactly 3 feet tall!' (a child foot getting measured for height).

Sockeye Salmon.

'May contain Cnuts.'

Various Birds of Pray.

'Is it peasants or pheasants you're not allowed to pick up if you hit them?'

"We saved your life. However, your colon is now a semicolon"

'Oh, no! A love rat!'

"Oh honey, I'm homo!"

"One no-trump. Oh, please, God, no Trump."

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

'My mother was a real bitch!'

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

'Want to serve first?'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"