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Prawn Amend

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Dog Park

Eldrow

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Sauce for the Goose

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"It's a swearbox."

"I spy with my little eye…"

A gift to complete the man cave.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"You're famous, Angus."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

Global Positioning Manual

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'That's Friday, Ed.'

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

Performance Enhancing Lemonade.

Law 'N' Order

"I can see you and I'm still too busy."

'I'll keep my remarks brief.'

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

'You must have a lot of untapped potential.'

"I'm out. I've got a paw hand."

Innumerate accounts department

Language, Died The Death of a Thousand Tweets

"Turns out the mouth of a river isn't the part right under its nose."