Word Play Pillows

"Hey, can I call you right back in two weeks?"

'Low T? How's the rest of my alphabet?'

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

Wine...Spirits...

"The most our country can give you at this time is perhaps a few more vowels."

'IV!'

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

"Ignore him. He's just on one of his power trips."

Whack-A-Yankee

'You're not very sharp, are you?'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Boot sale

'That's not the way to plead!'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

The Great Sarcasmo

'Snowman is an island.'

Oliverachy - Short-lived political system where leaders were chosen by how many olives they could fit in their mouths.

"We're giving up for the holidays."

'BIGGO PERFUME CO - Back in a phew minutes.'

'I didn't know trampling was a foul.'

Buckingham Palace,11:30 A.M.,and tourists gather to watch the changing of the guard.

"And if I'm elected I promise to go with the flow."

Airbus

The Mythical Unicorn.

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."

The early worm catches the bird.

Bus stop: A full bus stop with people standing holding onto handles like they would on a crowded bus.

In the Museum of Dinosores.

From The Makers Of Wonderbra: WonderWallet

Books 'n' Carrots

"I was raised in New York and Nancy is from L.A., but we're bringing up the children bicoastal."

"Look at it this way, Conroy—the longer they stay out, the longer you're a free man."

"I'm not so much interested in 'wellness' as I am 'swellness'."

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"