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'Are you choking or are you serious?'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Cut Price

Backfire

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Fast food. Even faster food

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Dog Park

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Shampoo.

Silence of the Chickens...

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

Hermit Crabapple Tree

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

Czarcasm

"Bed Spread"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Bangers and Mash

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

Artifishial Intelligence

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

Eldrow

Introducing...Anagraman.

Cat Burglar

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.