Woody Taste Appreciator Gifts

"Hmm, over-oaked chardonnay! My kind of wine!"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Bad for you but to die for

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Harsh Mellows.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Thermidor Dali

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

Cheese Pile

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"They say the taste makes up for their lack in artful presentation."

Big Burgers.

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"