Woodland Dweller T-Shirts

Paranoid Woodcutter Suspicious of Trees

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

Butterflies

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Country Bumpkin.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

A man rakes a tree

"I brought cocoa."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."