Woodland Dweller T-Shirts

Paranoid Woodcutter Suspicious of Trees

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Butterflies

Country Bumpkin.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

A man rakes a tree

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

"I brought cocoa."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."