Wood Cutter Pillows

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Lovely dovetail."

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'Doesn't it feel good to be taking care of our planet?'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

"Today, son, you are a man."

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

"Most projects require three hands."

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

Nick Offerman

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"Everything you need for self-assembly."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

Naked Furniture

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"Bob's a tool belt."

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

D.I.Y SUCKS!