Womens World Cup Gifts

US Women's Soccer/World Troubles,

"We've made great progress!"

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Monica Seles

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

Eric Clapton.

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

Steve Howe.

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Bashful in Nashville

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"Can you forget about that damn moon for two seconds and lend me a hand with the harmony?"

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

Jeff Beck.

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

A woman watches football on her computer.

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

B.B. King

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

Cockerel sings the blues...